It's now a week since the surgery and I wish I could say things are going great. I guess for the most part, things are progressing in a positive fashion ... but we don't have a handle on the pain management yet and that simply drains me.
I spend the majority of the day in pain. In the hospital they always asked on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst ... and here at home I would say it's a pretty steady 4-5 all the time. This morning I finally put a call into Dr. Klug's office and had them change/add to the pain meds so hopefully that will help.
It's just so hard to stay upbeat and positive when I can only manage sleep in 1-2 hour intervals at night. I think if I could get a solid 5 hours even ... things would be a lot different.
I find myself wondering if it would have been easier to do just one at a time even though it would mean going through this twice. Sometimes makes me wonder what it would have been like to have twins. Right now when I get one leg comfortable ... the other one acts up ... get that one moved around and at ease and it seems like 5 min later the other one is acting up again.
There are so many times in the day I get reduced to tears and that "poor pitiful me" feeling. I get feeling so hopeless sometimes ... then I feel stupid that I'm not able to be stronger and deal with this with more dignity.
I can't wait for the day when I can get up out of my chair myself ... and to swing my legs back up onto the bed without help. Those are the two things I simply cannot manage on my own yet and that's so frustrating.
Tomorrow will be better ... I have faith. :)
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