Welcome post

Well here goes nothing. lol

I'm not sure how to make this as user friendly or fancy as others I have seen but hopefully the old html knowledge and desire to explore and learn new things will take over.

I don't really have an intent or direction for this to take, I guess that's pretty common with a lot of people and their blogs. Seems to me this will be sort of like a diary only more public ... maybe less private. I meant to start one a year and a half ago when I started on the journey of a life time with my gastric bypass experience ... but "another day" always seemed to distract me from making that happen.

Now I'm facing another life altering step on the path to a new me so I thought I'd give this a try and start recording my thoughts and feelings about this upcoming event.

August 25, I'm scheduled for surgery ... and quite frankly this one psyches me out more than the bypass surgery did. I'm going in for two total knee replacements ... ya, that's right ... both at once because apparently both my knees are equally as bad as the other. No cartilage left on either ... multiple bone spurs (osteophytes) on both ... and the surgeon says if he only did one I'd be back in a month wanting the other done so might as well do both the first time.

The recovery is slower but shorter in overall time. I'm not sure why I'm so terrified of this whole idea. I know I'm the one that's been dragging my feet forever about it ... and ever since I was given the date, sleep seems to evade me most nights without some planning. (ie staying up til I'm about to fall over ... Tylenol pm ... an hour spent walking in the pool to exhaust the muscles and hopefully the brain lol). It doesn't seem to matter that I tell myself this will give me so much freedom. It doesn't seem to matter when all the doctors, family, and friends say I'm going to sail right through this ... what matters is that I can't convince myself yet.

Seems like I can't even isolate a specific area that freaks me out the most. It's a jumble of feelings, fears, worries, etc etc etc. Hopefully this blog will help me come to terms or at least give me a place to vent and toss ideas around. Writing has always been a way for me to get my mind around something so lets hope it works as well as it did 10 yrs ago.